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Look Who's Here!


Last night I tried to disappear

on the wings of a blackbird, singing in the park,
hidden between the leaves of an oak tree
It was shortly before dark as I sat between it's feathers,
filled with expectation
Only then I understood
the meaning of it's song, it sang
Here you don't belong

Last night I tried to disappear

in the hole of a mole that I thought would be blind, wouldn't mind
but there I went wrong
Your sweat reeks of death, it said
Your hair smells like burning grass
Your dung smells bad, like battery acid
And then, so politely, it asked me to leave
Shivering with fear when it did

Last night I tried to disappear

in the nest of a goose between it's youngsters and I thought
She'd be a mother and good to me, as well as to the others
Her wings so protective, her beak so giving,
turned out to be weapons that no man can handle
She slapped me, she kicked me
She picked at me, went after me
and I was
Swimming like a little kid, splashing
Screaming for help in the middle of the night
Ducks sadisticly quacking at the sight

Last night I tried to disappear

following a straycat to a doorstep where it knew it would be fed
Leftovers so easy to get
Thought we could be friends, roaming the streets
It would be so romantic
Let's go hunt mice, I said
She scratched me
Go Away! Go and Play! You clumsy kitten!
You won't last a single day



Last night I tried to disappear

between bats circling, shooting through the air
after insects, dinner whirling
My radar was sharp I thought
as I hit my head on a tree
Found myself in the mud
Saw the bats leave without me

Last night I tried to disappear

in the voice of an owl to be carried away a long distance
Be the vibration
Be the shivering of my skin
The owl, irritated, caughed and swollowed me instead
Then I thought I had done it, I would finally disappear, but
the owl threw up and spit
I found myself twisted between the remains of an unfortune mouse
Bones, skull, hair

Dawn

I proposed to a squirrel, it's tail so playfully teasing me,
Follow me, follow me, it seduced me, I was sure of it
And I knew we could share just about everything and be One
Yes
I proposed to a squirrel but it rejected me, saying
You're a poor thing
You don't swing

After dawn

I was working with ants
I was one of them
In labour, in discipline
One with nature and at peace with myself
I'd be human nomore
I had finally succeeded I thought, but

The blackbird came along and he gave me away
He said

Well, look who's here!
A man without fear
A regular hero and so sincere
He has been here all night
Interrupted our dinner, our songs, our flight
Now he thinks he can work here
and it will all be okay, the mess that he made,
that even now he creates by pretending

The ants, they looked at me ever so surprised
They all examined me, one by one, until they realised

This one indeed is a bit oversized

Last night I tried to disappear
to be wurm, to be nevermore responsible
Please, believe me, I plead
I am not really humanoid!
Please, I'm not like that!

The blackbird, it laughed and mocked me
It laughed for all to hear

Look who's here!
Here is yet another one, trying to disappear




Joke Kaviaar 2001




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